Everything is a Decision - Six Months

Six months ago today is a day I will never erase from my memory. The morning was a chaotic one to say the least and the days prior were the most pain I've ever been in in my entire life. A series of unfortunate events continually unfolded following surgery, from going to the ER, getting thrush, not being able to eat or take my pain medications, to passing a kidney stone, and urinating blood. But the optimist in me kept looking for a ray of hope, telling myself "it can only go up from here."

 That afternoon,  Jeremy had been over to sit with me for a while. We watched Elf to try to brighten the Christmas spirits and things were going pretty good. When he left I decided to start watching the series New Girl. I needed something light hearted to binge watch to escape from what I thought was misery. A few episodes into the series I fell right asleep. It was a dreary cold day and one of those naps where you fall asleep in daylight and wake up to everything dark. I was completely distraught, even though I had only been asleep an hour or so. I checked my notifications on my phone and saw a missed call from my surgeon who had just performed my cystectomy a few days prior. We were pretty close and had been texting back and forth about my symptoms and the pain I was having, as I had gone to the ER the day before. I figured she was calling to discuss how I was doing. I was walking to the kitchen to get some water as I called her back, having no idea that what she would say would change my life forever. She hesitated to even get the word "malignant" out, as she was completely blindsided as well.

My hand holding the phone became shaky and I felt a lump in my throat like never before. Tears filled my eyes. It was an out of body experience (to put it lightly). I kept saying "okay.. okay.. okay.." over and over again to what she was saying, thinking to myself, "just hang up the phone." (As if hanging up the phone would allow me to pretend I never got the call.) I was shaking so vigorously I couldn't see through the tears to hit the red end button on my phone. My surgeon kept talking and I couldn't listen anymore. When I finally ended the call I involuntarily collapsed in the corner. My mind couldn't begin to process what she just said. As cliche as it sounds, I kept thinking it wasn't real. I didn't know what to do or who to call. How I was going to tell my family members to come home over the phone was beyond me, but I tried. Of course all of them wanted to know what was wrong and telling them in that way was the last thing I wanted to do.

My dad came home from work in what seemed like 2.5 seconds after hanging up the phone. I was sitting there in a puddle of tears. He opened the door, his eyes already heavy, and completely lost all composure. We layed there on the bathroom floor together, hugging and holding each other, crying, and comforting one another through the silence.

That was the moment I surrendered my life to Christ.

I saw someone who I knew to be so powerful, be so innocently vulnerable at the name of this disease. He had no power. He had no way of curing it, and no way to stop it from happening. I knew I needed something even bigger than my dad come along side me in this journey.

The more I allowed Christ to take a role in my decision making, let him control my outlook on my diagnosis, and gave my life to him - the more peace I found. The days ahead held a lot of fear, but through it all I learned how to transform that toxic fear into a growing faith.

 The song Oceans by Hillsong became my theme song. The lyrics spoke so true to the way I felt.

Everything that has happened in such a short amount of time is completely and utterly God's work. Six months ago I had such a different picture in my mind of what today would look like. Something sad, dark, and scary. But it's a beautiful sunny day, I'm spending it with my family in a place that has always been my heaven on earth, and God is so good.

I've realized that it's all a decision. Every thing in life is a decision. Things happen out of our control that we couldn't possibly comprehend, but how we use the experience is completely up to us to decide. I use to feel sorry for myself. But I've learned that using my energy for pitty parties is pretty hopeless.

Cancer isn't always the end, sometimes it's just the beginning.

It's changed every perspective I've ever had. Not getting cancer, but the decision to surrender my plans for life to the Creator, and to live a life for something and someone higher than myself. Old relationships have flourished, new ones have formed, and even the ugliest days have an underlying beauty.

He has lead me where my Trust is without borders, and I will continue to walk upon the waters, wherever he shall call me.        

I extend my sincerest grattitude to everyone who has supported me in any way, shape, or form.

Xoxo,

Jessica Lynn

"Cause I've still got a lotta fight left in me"

I sit here in the same spot I was sitting in about five months ago, writing and editing my very first blog post. How incredibly humbling it is to reflect on all that has taken place. I remember putting so much time, energy, and thought into that post. I questioned every single word I wrote. I made multiple drafts and I got to the point where I couldn't even look at the computer screen anymore. I was so afraid of what people might think. Not only about the post, but about the decisions I was making for my body. I knew the route I was choosing wasn't something that was mainstream, and certainly not something that many people would recommend for a young girl with cancer. But I wanted to share my burning desire to heal in this way with everyone I knew, and this was the best way I knew how.

Clicking "publish" on that initial post was similar to the highly anticipated feeling of ripping off a large bandaid. I clicked it, shut my computer, and went straight to my room to start packing for Arizona. I told myself I wasn't going to look at my computer or notifications on my phone until the next day, afraid that the response might be negative (but boy was I wrong).

Lisa came down stairs within minutes of me clicking publish. She had sheer disbelief and joy upon her face as she told me that I HAD to check my notifications. People were ALREADY sharing, posting uplifting comments, and donating to my treatment fund. We spent the remainder of the day, and the entire night refreshing the feed. It was a feeling of gratitude I had never known prior, with a magnitude so great that it is impossible to describe adequately.

Fast forward to now, as I sit here on the other side of everything, writing about my cancer free life. It's truly crazy how drastically my life has changed in such a short amount of time. If someone would have told me in December after I hung up the phone with my surgeon, "It will only take seven weeks. Before Summer even gets here, the cancer in your body will be history. It will leave you with nothing but wonderful lessons, a deepened faith, and a healthier lifestyle." I would have told them they were absolutely bat sh*t crazy (pardon my french). But it happened!! And the most amazing part of my journey is not at all about me, it is about what God has done in my life. It is about the tremendous amount of encouragement He has given me through every one of you as my support system. It is about the inner voice He has instilled in me to keep pressing forward in my beliefs, despite the naysayers. I always said "He will provide." And He did. He provided me with every thing I needed to fight, just as He promised. I believe that He will continue to do so and I am so eager to see what is in store for me next. One of the most important lessons I've learned (I know I say that a lot) is that praising God despite the darkness will make praising Him in the light that much brighter.

Check out Part 3, the final piece to the "Jessica Langel Story" by Beth Ryan, Fit Life Journalist.

https://youtu.be/fc1AMw1o4MI

The cancer is gone, but the fight isn't over. It is a much bigger emotional battle than I ever anticipated it being, but it is a beautiful one at that. There are a lot of good days and then there are few days where life just doesn't quite make sense to me. Little things bother me, like going through the motions of life when I should be spending my time doing something more important. I continue to grow as I work through different trials that come my way and I learn more and more about myself each day. I want to take a moment to thank everyone involved in any way, big or small. And also to acknowledge all of the beautiful fighters I've grown so close to along the way. You are all so close to my heart. This one's for you!

https://youtu.be/sLamZ_W73-s

With all my love and grattitude,

Jessica Lynn

It is not age, but experiences, that separate us.

Meet Pam: one of the most angelic people I have had the privilege of meeting.

My sister Lisa always shares this quote with me, "It is not age, but experiences, that seperate us." This quote holds true for my dear friend Pam and I.

I still remember the first time Pam entered my life in a big way.

I was in my apartment, eating lunch between classes. It was only a short time after one of my gynecology check-ups for my ovarian cysts, and I was feeling very distraught about possibly losing my fertility post-surgery. But a phone call from my sister Lisa changed my attitude around entirely.

I could barely understand what Lisa was saying through the tears. She was trying to say that Liz's mom, Pam, had unexpectedly found out she has ovarian cancer. (Liz is Lexi and Jude's nanny/babysitter/favorite-person-ever). It suddenly made my heart drop. I had never met Pam before, but I knew what a wonderful person Liz was and had heard such amazing things about her parents. I thought about if that were my mom, diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and how devastated I would be. Then I thought about the pitty party I was throwing myself that day for the possibility of not being able to have my own children (ironically having no idea that, I too, had ovarian cancer).

Pam automatically entered my daily prayers from that moment on. I asked about Pam occasionally and thought about Pam often, but I had not met her yet. I remember hearing about what a cheerful person she was. Lisa told me a story about how the kids made her bracelets and her whole world lit up with joy. She explained to me that no matter how crummy she felt, Pam always wanted the company of Lexi and Jude. Lisa told me that Pam had a way of making everyone in her life feel like they were a blessing to her. I remember thinking what a compliment that was and what a beautiful person she must be.

The last way I expected to meet Pam was in the circumstance that we had ovarian cancer in common. But, God does crazy things like that. He brings people together that have a difficulty in common to give them someone to lean on, someone to vent to, and someone to make them feel less alone through dark and scary moments.

It was just a couple days before Christmas. We were sitting in Lisa's living room and I was so terrified with my recent diagnosis that I didn't even know how to think straight. Pam and Liz came in the door, faces beaming with delightful smiles, carrying a presence of peace. Pam shared with me what my upcoming appointments might entail, showed me what my port would look like, and gave me plenty of tips to keep the sadness away. She instantly became someone close to my heart.

Although what brought us together wasn't something either of us wished for, it created a very special bond. She was every bit as wonderful as I imagined she would be.

Along my journey she has gifted me many things that hold so much meaning: a lovely teal prayer blanket, a journal, and my favorite daily devotions book, Jesus Calling. Pam remembered all of my initial appointments and would send me encouraging messages. The incredible thing about her taking the time to provide outpouring support, was that she was also fighting a battle of her own.

While we both chose completely different methods in healing, we supported each other 100%. We kept in touch while I was in Arizona and shared our favorite passages in Jesus Calling with each other. We would talk about how great God is and all of the good things that we have found in a cancer diagnosis.

Shortly after receiving the news that I was cancer free, Pam received the same AMAZING news as well!! We praised God and thanked Him endlessly.

Pam and I still keep in touch from time to time, updating each other on what life is like now, and all of the adjustments that we are making. We don't get together very often, but when we do it is such a blessing!!

Last Friday morning was a very special morning. Pam and I had a juicing date! 

..along with two of our favorite side-kicks, Liz and my mom :)

We made a green juice recipe and also a hot pink juice recipe, to add some variety! The sweet greens juice recipe is from Kris Carr herself, author of Crazy Sexy Cancer Survivor, and it is deeeeelicious. Both of us assumed from the get go that we would like the hot pink one better (because it's more fun.. and it isn't green haha) but we both ended up agreeing that the sweet greens was our favorite of the two.

We modified the recipes slightly, replacing the kale, romaine, and dandelion greens with an Organic Power Greens blend from Costco, already washed and mixed, which is much easier prep wise. (Oh, annnnnd we decided to scratch the ginger all together ;))

Liz, my mom, Pam and I sipped on juice and chatted about life. It was a beautiful morning and one that I will not forget. It's pretty amazing how God puts people like Pam in our lives. The people we don't even know we need, to remind us that amongst the darkness, there is still so much beauty in the world.

Thank you Pam for being an inspiration to me and having such a positive influence on my healing journey.

With Love,

Jessica Lynn

My Something

When we picture a person dying in our minds, most of us see an elderly person, lying in a hospital bed surrounded by their loved ones. We see someone who simply closes their eyes and falls asleep praying to the Lord. While that is such a beautiful way to pass into the eternal life, it is simply not always the case here on Earth. Babies die unexpectedly, children die, people die in car accidents, on planes, in their homes, and on vacations. Which makes death such a scary word, often correlated with platters of food, bouquets of flowers, kleenex in your pocket, and wearing the color black.

While I had always thought I was untouchable from death at this age, I came to a point after my diagnosis where I began to accept it. It was a very difficult realization that we will all die eventually. I thought to myself about the most invincible and powerful people I know and about how powerless they were when it came to death. 

The tragedy in accepting the ending of a life is that we think we have so much time. For some silly reason we, as humans, think we have all the time in the world. We want time to achieve an impressive college degree, time to land an awesome job, time to create a beautiful family, time build a home with a white-picket fence wrapped around it, and time to spend growing old with someone we love so dearly. We believe that "one of these days" we will have time to grow in our faith, time to read the bible, time to pay attention to those in our lives who mean the most to us, time to take a vacation with our family, time to visit a nursing home, time to volunteer, or time to do a favor for someone who could never repay us.

But what we don't realize until we are forced to, is that we do not get to choose our life span. We do not get to choose how much time we have left in our hour glass. None of us are perfect, and we are all guilty of putting off what is truly important in order to build the life we've dreamt about. We get so caught up in working 8-5 jobs and checking off the to-do list, that we forget to embrace the gifts we've been given. The blessing in a life-threatening diagnosis is learning this the hard way.

So what means the most to you when your knees hit the floor? I can guarantee that when someone in a fancy white coat with a stethoscope around their neck tells you your days are limited, you will not want more time behind a desk. You will not wish you had a better college degree, a better job, or a house with a white picket fence. You will want more time with your family, your partner, and your friends. You will want more time with God. You will want more time with people, especially those nearest to your heart.

So after pondering death, getting use to the idea, and still being scared out of my mind. I came to accept it through the power of turning my fear into deepened faith. It showed me that

The goal is not to live forever, the goal is to create something that will

My testimony is my "something". It is my story and something I will die happily with when my day does come. My work here on earth is not finished yet, and I believe that is why God lead me down this path of healing, giving me more time in my hourglass. He needs more and more people to find Him, find His gifts He's given us to heal, and find that there is more than one option in the face of a diagnosis. I recently read a quote, "you'll be surprised to know how far you can go from the point that you thought was the end" and it instantly drew tears. I thought my life was over, that my time had run out. But God was only tapping me on the shoulder, teaching me lessons no amount of money could ever buy, and calling me to do His will.

So hold your loved ones tight, and find yoursomething.

Choose to be crazy. Choose to see things differently.

https://youtu.be/tQZn3N4eGDk

"Do not be afraid, keep on speaking, do not be silent." Acts 18:9

One

Two weeks ago, I had my first post-treatment blood draw at Whole Health Omaha to check my AFP (Alfa-Fetoprotein) tumor markers. Yesterday I received confirmation from Dr. Murphy that my levels measured in at 1.0!! (which is wonderful news to those of you who have no idea what that means). AFP is the tumor marker specific to the type of tumors I that HAD, nonseminomatous germ cell tumors and are sometimes elevated for those with liver cancer. They are found in the pineal gland of the brain. The elevation of these markers indicate whether or not a tumor is reforming or if cancer is present. Thankfully, 1.0 is considered to be the very low end of the normal range of 0.0-8.3, meaning anything above an 8.3 would be of concern. HALLELUJAH!!

While this is awesome news that my family and I are all very happy about, my doctor does feel that we need to closely monitor my AFP levels and order a PET scan within the next 3-4 months. For personal peace of mind before moving to Kansas City, I would agree.

I also wanted to share with you a lovely little video called:

"Healing Cancer Naturally: Jessica Langel's Story Part 1"

https://youtu.be/njUM-N86t3w

The title gave me goosebumps. I knew exactly what I said in the interview. but watching it for the first time was still incredible (aside from the fact that I don't like watching myself or listening to myself on video). I cannot thank you enough, Beth Ryan, for finding such deep interest in my story and taking the time to share it even further.

With love,

Jessica Lynn

"How completely satisfying to turn from our limitations to a God that has none." - A.W. Tozer

As many of you know, God has, without a doubt, been working miraculously in my life. I didn't really think or know that blessings could get greater than completely healing from a rare and aggressive cancer in just seven weeks, but I've recently learned that they definitely do.

Upon returning home, I went through a stage of confusion. I knew that I had been insanely blessed by God, but I couldn't understand fully why I was the one chosen to recieve such a gift. I knew there was a purpose, and a big one at that. However, I didn't quite know what it was or how to find it. In time, God slowly revealed to me my true purpose - helping others find the joy in healing.

God has sent many beautiful people into my life. But until recently, most of those people were lead to me in order to lift me up. But now the tables are starting to turn, and I'm getting to be that person for other people. I have been graciously blessed to experience what it is like to be able to be a resource of inspiration and information for someone else's healing journey.

This past week I received a text message from a friend and old co-worker of mine, asking for some guidance. She was asking in regards of a friend of a friend who is fighting for his health and willing to do anything to get it back. Like me, this man is not willing to obey his man-made expiration date. He had tried to reach out to An Oasis of Healing after hearing my story and wasn't getting through. After sending messages back and forth relaying between the four of us, the end result was a phone call from An Oasis of Healing!! He is excited about pursuing treatment there and I am so excited that God allowed our paths to cross and I was able to assist him in getting to the healing center. I ask that you beautiful supportive people pray for this man's willingness to walk God's path and follow His faith in this healing journey - WHEREVER it may lead him. 

 

I am also beaming with happiness as I invite you to check out Cheryl's Journey. Cheryl is from Kearny, Nebraska, battling stage 4 breast cancer with tremendous grace and courage. After her oral course of chemotherapy proved “ineffective,” she was told she was “running out of time." She chose to pursue treatment at An Oasis of Healing in Mesa, Arizona (whoop whoop!!!). It delights me to see the posts of positivity and progress that Cheryl is experiencing! I pray for continued strength and progress as she walks in the path that God has planned for her. I know what amazing support all of you are, and I ask that you keep Cheryl in your prayers. 

 www.cherylsjourney.com

These two fighters have chosen An Oasis of Healing, but it's important to know that every diagnosis, as well as every journey, is completely unique. I believe that each and every journey is beautiful and inspiring in its own way, no matter what the course of treatment may be. Trusting in the Lord and clinging to his promises are what lead you through regardless. I am so happy to have the pleasure of knowing fighters from multiple journies with unique stories. 

Thank you, supporters, for sharing my story with others - so beautiful things like I mentioned above can happen!! 

With love and appreciation,

Jessica Lynn 

And Like a Flood, His Mercy Reigns

"You'll need coffee shops, and sunsets, and road trips. Airplanes and passports and news

songs and old songs. But people more than anything else. You will need other people. And

you will need to be that person to someone else. A living, screaming, invitation to believe

in better things."

The past couple weeks have kind of been a blur as I've been out on the open road with my favorite sidekick Lodi, making trips back and forth between Omaha, Iowa City, Des Moines, and home to LeMars/Okoboji. It has been a great privilege to feel like I'm actually able to just pick up and go. I remember being at treatment in Arizona just wishing that the people I love were closer than a plane ride away. Now that they are and now that I feel like I have a good grip on things, I am taking full advantage!

So yesterday I woke up at 6 AM to drive back from Des Moines to Omaha for a day full of therapies. I woke up feeling groggy with a bit of a swollen throat, and a very sleepy puppy. It took everything in me to just get up and go, when all I really wanted to do was just pull the covers over my head, cuddle Lodi, and pretend the appointments didn't exist. But, I had re-scheduled twice this week already, so I figured I'd better go.

I pulled into Omaha and stopped at Lisa's to drop Lodi off before leaving for my first appointment of the day at Whole Health Omaha (formerly named Alternatives). I was all worried I wouldn't be on time, but I made it there with ten minutes to spare. Usually when I walk into the infusion room for my appointments I'm the first one there, and sometimes the only one in there for the duration of my treatment. However, yesterday there were two ladies already sitting down in the chairs, one of them getting an IV. As I sat down to prepare for port access and to be hooked up for vitamin C, my nurse had a very sly smile on her face. She said with a perky voice, "You two will sure have a lot to talk about today." I didn't really know what she was referring to so I started making small talk with the other ladies. I introduced myself and they did the same. The woman getting the IV introduced herself as Alecia.

Neither I nor Alecia had any idea that yesterday would turn out to be such an amazing experience and one of the most honorable gifts God has granted me.

We started with small talk. Her friend joked to the nurse that she would take an IV of french vanilla cappuccino. I was basically salivating at those three words and sarcastically remarked that I'd take two of them. (I might have actually kind of been serious). I asked Alecia if the IV's made her tired like they do for me. She replied that the IV's take her pain away and allow her to sleep. I was curious as to what kind of pain she was in, so I asked and she said that the pain is a result from triple negative breast cancer.

"Aha" I thought, "So that's what we have in common."

The conversation automatically sparked and lasted the duration of the two and a half hour treatment. It was as if we automatically connected, like we knew each other for years. She went on to say that she had heard about me and my blog weeks prior and was hoping she would meet me someday. (Keep in mind, I was suppose to get treatment on Tuesday and rescheduled twice. You can't tell me God didn't have a hand in this!) Alecia thanked me and I was not sure what for. She said "You are touching the lives of people that you don't even know" as looked up at her IV bag. She then explained to me how she had been searching for a place to infuse a "cocktail" of therapeutic levels of vitamin c paired with therapeutic levels of zinc for the treatment of cancer. No where would grant that for her, not her doctors she had worked with or anyone in the area. It was not until I brought my protocol from Oasis to Alternatives/Whole Health in Omaha that it was available anywhere near her. Whole Health notified her that they were now willing to honor the same protocol for Alecia that they do for me. Alecia experienced great relief as she could now receive this IV treatment close to home, which meant she was able to be with her two children. Goosebumps covered my entire body as I too looked at our two IV bags, realizing they were the exact same. (I'm not sure how I didn't pick up on that prior). From there the conversation sparked even more. She asked me about my journey and I started from the very beginning, describing even the most intimate details. Alecia did the same. What made us both bring out our inner feistiness was the topic of "expiration dates." She shared with me a story about a certain oncologist that told her that her life was going to be taken from this cancer if she did not do the surgery recommended. Alecia explained to them she was going to use the vitamin C and zinc IV's, intense detox therapies, and diet/lifestyle change to cure her cancer. The woman told her, "In all of my 40 years of working in oncology I have never heard of that working for anyone else." Alecia exclaimed with the biggest smile on her face, "But I didn't listen to her because of you!!"

My world lit up.

To know that my journey has had that much of an impact on someone else's life, even that it has just allowed her to receive the treatment she feels best for her body, was absolutely outstanding. I was so honored that God brought us together, face to face, to meet one another and cross paths.

We discussed all of the difficulties in going the non-traditional route and how much pressure it can be. I shared with her how my experience at An Oasis of Healing released a lot of the stress of figuring it out for myself. She was so incredible in the way that she listened to every word I said with a sheer glow upon her face. I could see such a genuine soul with a giving heart of gold. After our IVs were done dripping, we exchanged numbers and agreed to schedule our treatments together because we had such a wonderful time.

IMG_2180

If you asked me when I woke up yesterday what kind of day it was going to be, the last

thing

I would've said was wonderful. Which goes to show that you never know what God has up

his sleeve for you, and at any moment, someone can come into your life, making the ugly

parts a little more beautiful and the dull moments a little more full of life. 

FullSizeRender

I am already looking forward to our next IV date, Alecia. I will never forget yesterday's experience and I continue give God thanks and praise for connecting us. I know it has been tough, but I am cheering for you.. always.

With love,

Jessica Lynn

When life hands you lemons... make juice!

         Mothers day was beautiful. I got to spend the day with my amazing mother in Omaha doing whatever we wanted. We spent the morning having coffee and conversation and watched Sunnybrook church while we got ready for a nice brunch with my sister Lisa and her family. It was awesome! Last night we made a Costco and Trader Joe's run to stalk up on a bunch of healthy foods and juicing essentials for the week. This morning we worked as a team to cut, wash, and prep the juice. (It was much more fun to do with her goofiness. When we get the giggles there is no stopping us.)

What is juicing? I always thought juicing was one of those "health fads." Something only rich women in California did in between yoga classes and facials. It wasn't until I went to treatment at An Oasis that I learned what the true purpose of juicing is and also how beneficial it is in the healing process.

Flash back to a little green juice happy hour with my sister at treatment.

What makes juicing so healthy for you? Most of us are not consuming as many vegetables as our bodies truly need to function optimally. The problem with today's Standard American Diet (SAD.. coincidence? I think not) is that we are consuming a lot of food, but we are not properly absorbing the nutrients, which leaves us still feeling hungry or satisfied for only a short period of time. We can eat and eat and eat without truly fulfilling our cellular need, whether our stomachs feel full or not. This is why we are often left unsatisfied even after consuming a large amount of food, because our cells are starving for proper nutrients. Fresh juice is instant energy and satisfaction to our cells as they gulp up all of the nutrients and antioxidants from juices.

Why not just eat the fruits and vegetables?  I use to think: "Well, good for you.. thats great.. you go girl, drink that juice. I'll chew my food and actually feel like I'm eating something," (which is still sometimes true).

But once I understood the the benefits of consuming some fresh juices in conjunction with eating fruits and veggies, juicing became a lot more important to me. The main benefit of juicing is that it eliminates the middle step of digestion and gets right to absorption. Juicing will “pre-digest” the veggies for you, allowing you to receive optimal nutrition and save your body's energy for other functions such as HEALING and repairing any ailments.

Okay.. but I don't really even like to eat greens, let alone drink the stuff. That is the beauty of juicing! YOU select what fruit and veggie combinations are delicious to you. It's a good way to consume a large amount of greens without fully tasting them. At treatment, each patient was provided with two mason jar quarts of fresh green juice daily. At first I really liked it, but as time went on, I wouldn't let that stinkin jar near me. (Probably because of the effects of the chemo drugs and just getting sick of drinking the same juice each day). But now that I am home, I'm able to switch up juice recipes and control what goes into my juice, it is a much more enjoyable (and tasty) experience! I've found that juicing is an opportunity to consume veggies I don't really like to eat plain. I am not a huge fan of kale, but juiced with green apples and lemons, kale is actually really good. Don't get me wrong, there are some things that no matter how you shake it I won't consume it (AKA ginger, can't do it without gagging). It takes a little experimentation to find what juices you like the most, but that's the best part.

Juicing sounds like something very minuscule, but it was an essential part of my cancer treatment at An Oasis, and is something that everyone can do on their own. There are certain cancer/chronic disease centers such as the Gerson Institute that focus a large portion of their treatment plan on consuming tons of fresh vegetable juices daily. "Fresh-pressed juice from raw foods provides the easiest and most effective way of providing high-quality nutrition. By juicing, patients can take in the nutrients and enzymes from nearly 15 pounds of produce every day, in a manner that is easy to digest and absorb." - Gerson Institute

Well I don't have cancer, should I be juicing? Of course! Juicing is for healing ALL ailments and chronic diseases. Such as:

• Heart disease
• Arthritis
• Diabetes (especially type II)
• Allergies
• Joint pain
• Chronic fatigue
• Bloating
• Inflammation
• Weight management/loss
• Strengthen bones
• Purify blood
• pH balance
• Alkalinization
• Restore organ optimal function
• Edema
• Urinary tract infections
• Candida overgrowth (yeast)
• Alleviate symptoms of celiac disease and IBS

The list goes on and on.. amazing isn't it?

My favorite juice combinations: power greens, lemon, celery, cucumber, and green granny smith apples

Leaving out the ginger of course ;)

Juicy Tips:

• When juicing fruits, choose low glycemic fruits such as green apples, lemons, grapefruit, and berries. Juice's nutrients absorb directly into the blood stream, including the sugars. A large amount of sugar directly into the blood stream is never a good thing!
• Drink your juice right away or store it in airtight mason jars, filling them all the way to the top. There should be a minimum amount of air in the jar as the oxygen in air will “oxidize” and damage the juice.
• If the green color freaks you out add things like carrots to make it orange or strawberries or beets to make it a pretty pink color.
• The fruit flavor generally overpowers the flavor of the veggies so don't be afraid of adding things like carrots, broccoli, cucumber, etc!
• Always modify juicing recipes according to your pallet.
• I store my juice in mason jars in the fridge and when I am ready to drink it I add a little ice and a straw (I purchased these from Target after getting the idea from my sister) they make juice much easier to take on the go!

Cheers to health!

I also wanted to share with you also an article that Carly Rain Schmidt sent me this weekend. Below is an article I was featured in this months issue of Corridor Corners that is distributed in the Iowa City area. It all started when I received a random phone call in Arizona from chiropractor Dr. Karim of the Iowa City area, who was interested in sharing my story and starting a fundraiser in his office to help with expenses. Thank you Dr. Karim for all of your support and to Corridor Corners for sharing my story!!

Xoxo,

Jessica Lynn

Teal & Twenty One

Last weekend was a feeling I'll never forget. I woke up in Omaha with pure gratitude to see "Saturday, April 25" on my phone's home screen. It started off as a rainy and dreary morning, but nothing could dull the light of excitement within my heart. I had known about the benefit bar crawl for a while, but I knew there was a possibility that I would be watching it all unfold at a distance. So to wake up at home, and to know that I was able to make the trip to Iowa City to see everyone was such an amazing feeling!   

  Teal shirts flooded the streets of downtown Iowa City. The sight of it all brought goosebumps to my body and tears to my eyes. I was reunited with so many beautiful people that have supported my journey and were ready to CELEBRATE LIFE! A big bright smile was permanently plastered to my face as I walked around all night, throwing gratitude around like confetti (and taking pics with my new selfie stick).  I often found myself caught up in the appreciation of just being able to be there, especially with so many friends and family in one place. It was hard to fathom that all of it was for me - a truly rewarding moment!  

Saturday we celebrated life.

Sunday night we celebrated my 21st birthday. Another beautiful blessing, to see another birthday. Especially considering the surgery that I was suppose to undergo prior to chemo would have had me technically still turning 21 years old, but my body/physical state would be similar to that of a 45-60 year old going through menopause (leaving a whole nother slue of health problems). I felt so fortunate to feel 21 in every way shape and form. We went out for dinner as a group and danced the night away (Well.. I danced the night away. Haha)

   Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for such an amazing memory that I will cherish for the rest of my life. Seeing that weekend through my own eyes is a gift I cannot really describe. My 21st birthday was better than I ever could have dreamt it to be.

Through trials of life it is important to give thanks and grow. Through life's blessings it is

important to give thanks and CELEBRATE. Even if that blessing be a breath of fresh air or

hearing your own heart beat wildly. 

I thank the Lord for giving me so many trials to grow from and so many blessings to celebrate (including such wonderful people in my life to celebrate with me!) 

You are truly incredible. Xoxo.

Jessica Lynn 

48 Days. 2,570 Miles. One Month Cancer Free

"No matter how long the Winter, Spring is sure to follow"

picstitch

Spring has sprung in many ways!

One month ago today started off as a nerve wrecking day to say the least. I remember checking into the appointment for my (highly anticipated) follow up PET scan with such a numb feeling. The nurse directed me to a room by myself as the contrast worked its way through my port for an hour before starting the PET scan, which realistically felt like at least three hours. I don't know if doctors and nurses realize how much torture it is for a cancer patient to sit in a room alone for an hour, with nothing to think about other than what the upcoming scan results are going to be. I sat there with my eyes closed and prayed so deeply to see this day... never knowing if it was going to come. I painted a beautiful mental picture of what it must be like to feel free and to be on the other side of this. I prayed for this day, to confirm my inner belief that focusing on healing the body can, and DOES, cure cancer. I wanted to show people that sometimes listening to your inner voice is more important than listening to "standard protocol." In my mind, I was healthy and things were going great, but to see a PET scan confirm that in all aspects - was breathtaking… literally. So cheers to the glory of God and to one month of being cancer free in the books!! (It is so wonderful to be able to type that.)

After the news had sunk in, I knew in my heart that God granted me this blessing for the purpose of helping others see His light in healing. Which is why I wasted no time in figuring out how to get back on the track of becoming a chiropractor :) My lovely, supportive advisor from Cleveland Chiropractic College met me for lunch last week to go over my options. I was ecstatic to hear that I will be able to take all of the required classes online this summer in order to begin school at Cleveland this fall!! I never thought I would actually be excited to sign up for classes and buy books, but I am so eager for the opportunity to be a student again and to learn even more about wellness.

I expected to feel a giant relief the second I got home, but surprisingly it wasn't exactly a weight lifted off the shoulders. On one hand, I felt a continuing pressure to fill my time doing things to fight cancer, because that is all I had known for months. But on the other hand, I felt an enormous urge to scream from the roof tops, or run until my legs gave out, or go do something spontaneous and crazy, just to celebrate being alive. Finding a balance between the two extremes took quite a bit of time. It was (and is still) difficult to jump back into the surrounding of others who haven't experienced cancer and trying to find my "middle ground" so to speak. Thankfully, after about two weeks of exhausting myself, my sister helped me make a weekly schedule, fitting in colonics, IV's, exercise, lab work, juicing, coffee enemas, lymphatics, sauna, acupuncture, adjustments, castor oil packs, and meal prepping. It helped to visually see on a piece of paper all of the things I am still doing, I'm just not doing them at a treatment facility in Arizona, surrounded by others in the same situation like I'm use to. Now that I actually breathe in my spare time, I've started to be able to get some good sleep and even nap every now and then, which is more necessary than I thought! Over the last several months, I have collected a variety of books, articles, and resources about health and finally have the desire to read them in my spare time. I wanted to share with you one of my favorites (even prior to cancer). I've gotten a chance to re-read her books and have found even more juicy information the second time around.

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Meet Kris Carr, New York Times and #1 Amazon best-selling author, wellness activist, and CANCER THRIVER!!What a lovely woman she is. I did not originally read her books in hopes of learning about cancer, but in hopes of learning about health and wellness. However, when I was diagnosed with cancer she was one of the first people to come to mind, as she has been living WITH cancer for over a decade! Not just any cancer, but MULTIPLE tumors on her liver and lungs. Over time she has been reversing them slowly. How is that possible??? Kris thrives by bridging Western Medicine and Integrative Care (Amen to that!).

"Kris titillatingly turns a supermarket into a pharmacy" - Dr. Oz

Kris has done very well for herself in her decade of thriving. She has written five books and shot one documentary that aired on Oprah and TLC. My favorite thing about Kris that makes her unique to most wellness junkies is her down-to-earth (NON INTIMIDATING) approach to health that I deeply admire. She was my initial inspiration to find my inner voice and to look at cancer as a wake-up-call rather than a death sentence and is my ongoing inspiration to live like I mean it.

Below is a little sneak peak of her bio:

"What I learned transformed my life forever and I think it can help yours too. Through my

books and film, my journey has resonated with thousands of health, spiritual wealth and

happiness seekers. CanSer babes and “Prevention is HOT” cheerleaders have hopped on

board the Crazy Sexy train to learn how to look and feel better, lose weight, reduce stress

and suffering, have more energy and nourish their spirits—even Oprah got excited about our

wellness revolution.

My wake-up call encouraged me to make a total lifestyle upgrade inside and out. It taught

me how to listen to my brilliant inner guide, brought me back to nature (my church), the

garden and kitchen (my pharmacies), and connected me more deeply with the people and

animals who set my heart ablaze. I learned that a nutrient dense, plant-passionate diet rules,

the Standard American Diet destroys (everything), stress sucks (life-force), exercise is non-

negotiable (great for your head, heart, cells and ass-ets), joy is utterly contagious, and

having fun must be taken very seriously."

I highly recommend checking out Kris' books available. The Crazy Sexy Diet is the first one I read. In ten chapters with titles such as "Cupcakes, Coffee, and Cocktails," "this is your wake up call, pick up gorgeous!," and "Make Juice, Not War" - she makes learning about health very entertaining. I was searching for a new "diet" and got something a whole lot more valuable - a lifestyle change (and a good laugh). It's almost like reading a really awesome magazine, with some sarcastic humor here and there, about the true meaning of health.

Fun fact: Kris Carr actually received some therapies at An Oasis of Healing!! How cool is

that? At treatment, one of the therapists shared that with me. I almost felt like I was in the

presence of a celebrity, it was special to me that our journeys crossed in a similar manor.

She is my continuing inspiration for positivity, sassiness, living faithfully, and focusing on

what does the body good. Check her out!

She has some freebies on her site, is fun to follow on Facebook, and has a lot more information at:

www.kriscarr.com

With love,

Jessica Lynn

Strong Enough

God works in mysterious ways.   I woke up this morning to the munchkins singing Happy Birthday. We had fruit "cake" in our PJ's and opened presents. The next thing on my list of wishes for the day was to go enjoy a cup of coffee at my favorite coffeeshop in Omaha called Stories. When I got to Stories to meet Lisa and Aaron, they said some Matthew West guy was here with his tour bus (not knowing he is one of my favorite Christian singers). His song "Strong Enough" was a theme song of mine that got me through some dark moments these past several months.

"Cause I'm broken. Down to nothing. But I'm still holding on to the one thing. You are

God, and, you are strong when I am weak. I can do all things through Christ who gives me

strength, and I don't have to be, strong enough."

He was here in Omaha to debut a new song written about the lovely girl pictured below. He chose from about 40,000 stories submitted to him, and ended up choosing to write for this beautiful soul, sharing her inspirational story through the lyrics of his new song.

After listening in awe and as things wrapped up,  I found the courage to share my story with him. I got the opportunity to thank him for what he has done in my heart and in my journey with Christ. He has NO idea how much his music has impacted me and lead me through the darkness to see God's light. ❤️ God knew what he was doing this morning, what an amazing birthday gift!!

http://youtu.be/A8JsRxVczmQ

Pain will change you more profoundly than success or good fortune.

"You do not get to choose the events that come your way, nor the sorrows that interrupt your

life. They will likely be a surprise to you, catching you off guard and unprepared. You may

hold your head in your hands and lament your weak condition and wonder what you ought

to do. To suffer, that is common to all. To suffer and still keep your composure, your faith,

and your smile - that is remarkable. Pain will change you more profoundly than success or

good fortune. Suffering shapes your perception of life, your values and priorities, and your

goals and dreams. Your pain changes you. Wisdom is nothing more than healed pain."

I have always known that this pain would change my life, but I never knew how it would come about. The past few days I have truly opened my eyes to see how my pain has changed my perception. I believe each one of us has different pains in our lives that build our character and allow us to grow. We only know our own experiences with pain, but all pain has a purpose. I firmly trust that. Any one can be positive when all is right in their world, but when things completely fall apart, that is when true character shines. Things in my life are different in many aspects and adjusting to that is a work in progress. Sometimes it is hard to take a deep breath knowing how incredibly blessed I am to have this opportunity to wake up to life every day. I find myself torn between trying to celebrate life and fight for life each day, but as time goes on, the easier it becomes to find a balance. I know that this pain has brought me many amazing things: a healthier life, a deepened faith, an ability to realize what is most important in life, and a way to help others in spite of their pain. Which is why I encourage anyone battling chronic illnesses, wanting to improve their health, or who know someone who could use help fighting their "pain," whatever it may be - to consider reaching out. I've had a couple of people contact me over the past few days for some guidance, resources, or support, which has been WONDERFUL. I am so glad that I am able to give back in that way. One of the biggest blessings I've received is the ability to use my pain for greater purpose and any opportunity to do so is a gift.

With love,

Jessica Lynn

Knowledge.

Everyone knows the quote, "knowledge is power." 

Until you are aware of something or have the knowledge about it, you cannot do anything about it. But the thing is, you have to be open to that knowledge and accepting of it - whatever it may be - in order to change or grow. Sometimes we tune things out simply because we don't want to hear it. Sometimes it's because we want to pretend it isn't true, sometimes we want to think we have a better way of doing things, and sometimes we just aren't open to straying from the norm. 

I myself am very guilty at times of having selective acceptance of knowledge. We all are. It makes us human. But I want to applaud all of those in the basis of Cancer who are open minded and accepting of ALL possible cures, those researchers who are willing to go beyond what seems "normal." 

I am so happy that some awareness of completely non-toxic Cancer treatments are being brought to attention. I am NOT saying that chemotherapy and radiation are not good sources of Cancer treatment in some cases. Both of them have saved lives and have worked in numerous cases. BUT it is pretty cool to know and be aware that there are OTHER options as a Cancer patient. Which is something I was never told in any oncology appointment in the Midwest, I had to do some researching to gain knowledge and awareness for myself. What is completely and miraculously wonderful is that university hospitals around the country are starting to accept the idea that other methods could work and try them out, to gain the knowledge from them. Perhaps for those patients who do not tolerate the chemo, those patients who are "too far gone," or those patients like me who feel that they need a different way to heal their bodies as a whole can sleep better at night knowing THEY HAVE OPTIONS. 

The University of Iowa makes me even more proud to be a Hawkeye with this article. THANK YOU for being open, and spreading the knowledge and awareness. 

Go Hawks!

http://www.kcrg.com/subject/news/university-of-iowa-researchers-taking-second-look-at-vitamin-c-for-cancer-treatment-20150413

Slowly, but Surely.

Hello lovely supporters, I apologize for my lack of keeping in touch through blog posts. Life has been so crazy and beautiful that I haven't taken the time to just sit down and reflect.

I have taken the time, however, to celebrate and embrace the wonderful news. I got to spend the Easter holiday and Lexi's Gotcha Day at home and I enjoyed every minute of it. I was also able to make a trip to Iowa City to see my roommates and visit my college life which was an indescribable gift. I never knew if that was going to happen again and to be there to just take it all in was pretty amazing. I've also gotten to celebrate the engagement of two of the most deserving people I know, Madi Baack and Brayton Ringsdorf. I was so thankful to be able to be apart of that special time. Today, Janna was able to come to treatment with me in Omaha and see what that was like. It was amazing to have her company and support.

Today marks THREE WEEKS since I left Mesa CANCER FREE. Which is still entirely surreal to me, because the days, weeks, and months prior were completely consumed with cancer. First it was about taking in the news and not completely shutting down. Then it was about taking initiative and making appointments for additional testing to figure out the stage and grade of my cancer. Then it was about figuring out what the recommended steps were. Then it was going to more appointments for second, third, and fourth opinions. In between those appointments it was about researching options and reaching out for guidance. Then it became about choosing what path I was going to take in the hopes of conquering cancer. And once I found my path of treatment, it was about finding the means to make it happen. When I finally got to that point, it became about fighting with every thing I had, even on the days I wanted to give up. Long story short, the days of NOT being completely consumed with cancer still feel so far off that some times I don't even know how to act or how to just relax and take a deep breath. Coming home and being put back into the fast-paced reality of life has been quite an adjustment, but a wonderful one at that. I stop and find myself in awe very often because I never knew if this day was going to come.

My days after cancer are much different than my days before cancer. My mindset has taken a 180 and my gratitude is so endless that I am not even sure how to express it at times. I look at even the littlest things in life so much differently. I use to wake up each morning and instantly think about that days tasks ahead. Whether it be studying, working, going to class, or crossing things off of my to-do list. Those days of waking up like that are gone. Mornings are so beautiful. I wake up at home and praise The Lord for being here. I thank Him for renewing me and giving me new life. Every day that I wake up cancer free is full of bliss, but it also comes with a certain pressure to keep working toward my health. I have been given such a rare opportunity and also such an enormous amount of support. I have received too many blessings to just stop now. While my PET scan is clear, the fight is not over. I am continuing to fight and I will fight for my health for the rest of my life. I cannot un-learn or un-experience the journey I've been taken down, and for good reason. I have said many times that I know God has placed this journey in my life for great purpose. I also know that agreeing to taking this route and pursuing it whole-heartedly means never giving up, never letting go, and never forgetting how much of a gift a healthy life is. Why waste it?

My goal with this blog is to continue to update you about my cancer-free lifestyle and how I continue to work for my health. I want to share with you some of the things that I do and why I do them for my health. I have had a desire to share my journey with absolutely everyone and this seems to be a good way of doing so :)

My hope is that people continue to benefit from reading my posts. I want to share bits and pieces of the knowledge I have gained in hopes that they may be applicable to your own lives or spark a healthy thought here and there.

With Love,

Jessica Lynn

Rainbows and Puppy Kisses

Many families are spending the weekend amongst pastel decorations, dyed eggs, little peep candies, a variety of jelly beans, and big chocolate bunnies. Our family's Easter weekend use to consist of the same. But five years ago we were blessed with another holiday to celebrate at this time. A holiday filled with rainbows, balloons, chocolate cake, a special movie, and a very special little girl that we cherish deeply - Lexi Jewel Nielsen.

April 5th is Lexi's "Gotcha Day," the day her adoption was finalized in the courts, she was ours FOREVER! What an amazing gift to celebrate as a family!    Lexi adds color to life without even knowing it. She brightens my world and gives me so much hope for the future. There is no doubt in my mind that God knew what he was doing when he brought Lexi Jewel to Lisa and Aaron, she was made for our family.  Yesterday, we celebrated with lunch at her favorite restaurant and came home to Lexi's rainbow Hawaiian party! She requested we serve "Steak & Pancakes" for dinner and chocolate rainbow cake for dessert :)     After dinner we all gathered to watch Lexi's Gotcha Day video. This year makes 5/5 for all of us turning into puddles.     

Our family grew with another wonderful little babe this weekend as well.. Except he has four legs, tiny paws, and lots of fur. 

  

Meet my new best friend, Lodi. I named him after Dr. Lodi, one of my doctors in Arizona who helped me save my own life in the battle against ovarian cancer.

This little ball of fur is a constant reminder to enjoy the little things in life, like puppy kisses and waking up WAY too early just to play outside.  

       

Thank you to my amazing family and boyfriend for an early 21st birthday present that will bring me so much joy and happiness every single day of this beautiful life!🐶🐾

 "A dog has a way of filling an emptiness you didn't even know you had."

Young and Hungry

http://www.youngandhungryebooks.com/phone/investors.html

Such an honor, thank you Young and Hungry! #YHinvestment 

New Normal

Today marks one week since I've flown home from Mesa and also marks the first day of outpatient therapies! For the past week I've been unpacking, settling in, rejoicing in the good news, and adjusting to all the lifestyle changes at home. Today was my first appointment here in Omaha at a clinic called Alternatives, and it is AMAAAAZING! I feel so fortunate to have a place close by that will administer the IVs I need, do follow up care, and support my  treatment plan! While I miss all of the staff and people at the Oasis, the staff here is very friendly and comforting!

I will be recieving therapeutic levels of IV vitamin C once per week here and getting periodic blood labs to make sure everything keeps going in the right direction. Tomorrow I meet with the nutritionist and supplement specialist here to go over all of my labs and levels to make sure my supplements that I am taking are completely compatible and there aren't any deficiencies anywhere. I feel so lucky to have such a great place at home to continue care, because now that the Recnac is GONE, I need to keep it AWAY for good!! The best part about it all is that when I am done with therapies/treatment here I get to go HOME for the rest of the day and sleep in my own bed :)

So many people have asked what my home plan looks like. Here are some of my DAILY Cancer kickers at home:

• Saline enemas
• (Green) coffee enemas
• Raw vegan diet
• Dry brushing (for lymphatics)
• Morning supplements
• Afternoon supplements
• Castor oil packs
• (Soon to be) Rebounding
• Exercise

WEEKLY Cancer kickers

• IV Vitamin C at high dosage
• Colonics
• Hyperbaric Oxygen Chamber
• Port maitenence and blood work
• Infrared sauna (3x per week)

Most of those probably sound completely foreign to most people, because they certainly were to me at first! It's a little tricky to develop a new routine involving all of these wonderful things into daily life, but each day gets a little easier!

The amount I have learned about the root of health and wellness is absolutely indescribable. No dollar amount can touch the experience and insight that I have gained in the past three and a half months. I am forever grateful for that. God has a big purpose for all of this and it is being revealed to me more and more each day. I have such a burning desire to share my journey with any and every one I encounter, because I am just so entirely grateful. There isn't a day I that I don't wake up thankful for my body, my ovaries, my health, and my quality of life. Thank you for supporting me and being a motivation every day to keep going, to keep pressing forward, and to rejoice in all of life's blessings!

With love,

Jessica Lynn 

Corn fields & celebrations

Coming to you live from the midwest

So.. In case you missed the last blog post or my personal explosion of happiness on social

media:

I AM CANCER FREE!!

Tomorrow marks one week since my PET scan made Monday, March 23rd an eternal holiday in my calendar. The past week has been crazy amazing adjusting to life back home and also just absorbing the news!

A little update of the past week's events:

• Well, sleeping Monday night was nearly impossible, knowing that I got to go HOME bright and early the next morning. It was harder to wrap my head around the fact that I had finally gotten AMAZING news because I was so use to the opposite. I still often think, "alright, where's the catch here?" I was up nearly two hours before my alarm was suppose to go off because there was NO way we were going to miss that flight home, not on my watch. I couldn't sleep and I was completely overwhelmed with the wonderful reality. I laid in bed and read my daily devotion in a book called Jesus Calling (which I would highly highly recommend by the way) and it woke me up even more to how amazing our God is. I really found comfort in the ending phrase "Remember that I never let go of your hand. Herein lies your security, which no one and no circumstance can take from you." It helped me to remember that my cancer is/was not apart of who I am, and it cannot/did not take my security that I find in Christ.

• As part of my typical morning getting ready at the extended stay, I read myself these notes one last time. This one rang so loudly. My life is now a testament to that!

• Looking out the window of that plane as we were taking off is something I will never forget. It was like some corny part of a movie with a fairy tale ending - except it was even better. My mom and I both held each other and bawled like absolute babies. (I think the lady sitting next to us thought I had a fear of flying or something because she was definitely staring and I didn't stop sobbing until we were safely in the air out of Mesa). It was an incredible feeling to leave knowing that I would not be needing to return, at least not unless I wanted to. I constantly thought to myself that the last time I had been on a plane I had a rare and aggressive cancer and I had no idea what I was really getting myself into or where life would lead me. Sooo.. saying that I was happy on that plane home is an ultimate understatement of what I felt.

• When we landed I had another fairytale movie moment waiting for me. As I walked to the baggage claim, I saw some skinny little thing with a kid on her hip jumping up and down with a neon pink poster, and I was like "yep, that HAS to be my sister." I completely lost all composure, as if I had forgotten that I was in a public setting. I cannot tell you how amazing it was to see corn fields, to hear "you have landed in Omaha, NE is it 12:37 PM" coming off the plane, and to say "I AM HOME!"

• After getting our bags and regaining composure for about 30 seconds, I had yet another little moment as I saw Lisa pull up ready to bring me to my new home (her house). I had no cares for the fact that it was rainy and 30 degrees, or that I still had my sunglasses and flip flops on, or that I had just left sunny hot weather. I was on what you would call cloud nine.

• Walking into my new humble abode was priceless and incredible. By this point, my hope for regaining composure was out the window. I walked into the door and cried even just looking at the big white chairs in the kitchen, thinking about the future mornings I will get to wake up and have tea there. I looked at every thing in that house with so much more meaning, it was an emotion I haven't ever experienced. What was even more exciting was walking down stairs to find a celebration waiting.

• I have been settling into my new home in Omaha and loving every minute of it. At treatment I dreamt about what it would feel like to finally be home and settled in. It's even more amazing than I dreamt up, especially being around the kiddos and all of their energy. After a couple days of adjusting to the change and setting up my new lifestyle in Omaha I finally feel truly ready to continue therapies this coming week!

I've had a hard time learning how to express this sheer happiness I feel. I don't like to even use the word happy because it's such an understatement for the extreme joy I have. The simplest things I do throughout my days at home now mean a tremendous amount more. I was putting my nephew Jude to bed the other night and as we were lying there reading books I just praised God for giving me the gift of a second life, and getting to be a healthy aunt to my nephews and niece. To be able to watch them grow up, to play with them, to hold them, and to love them for the years to come is absolutely priceless. I haven't ever felt this wonderful in my entire life and I am overwhelmed with praise and gratitude. It brings me to tears often thinking about how blessed I am with how much support and love I have had throughout this journey that has only just begun. 

I often also think about what my life would look like if I hadn't followed this path. I think about the fact I could be turning 21 and going through menopause right now, especially living through some of the side effects of that extremely early menopause, and I am so grateful for getting to keep my quality of life. The fact that I was able to get through the surgery AND fight the ovarian cancer AND keep two functioning ovaries?! - That is a miracle by God's work right there. 

Coming out of treatment for cancer feeling happier and healthier in all aspects of life is something I never would have imagined possible for myself, and I still sometimes struggle to believe that this is reality now. I know that there are people out there who still have disbelief in what has been my course of treatment, but I knew in my heart from the beginning that with the right faith and attitude, this would work. I catch myself multiple times a day in complete awe of what has taken place. It makes me want to give back in the biggest way. It makes me want to share all of the knowledge and experience that I have gained. I want to share the joy. I want to help others in any way I possibly can. I want to show people who have immense fear of cancer, or any disease for that matter, a whole new perspective. I want to be a person who any and every one feels like they can come to with any ailment in life.

Please, please share my story any and every where. Even if it only reaches one person that is in the position I was three and a half months ago, it will be considered successful in my book. The point of sharing this  journey with all of you and being completely open about it is not to gain support for myself, but to gain support for this view of cancer in a positive light and also to show the world that there is more than one way to successfully cure it.

With all my love and gratitude,

Jessica Lynn

To those who tried to place an expiration date on my life, this one's for you.

Today, the calendar of special dates got a brand new addition. It is my own personal holiday, March 23rd. Today is the day that a simple piece of paper has revealed all that I know in my heart to be true. Remember all of that talk about God being the Almighty Healer? Well I think this confirms that Him and I make a pretty amazing team. This morning I had my second PET scan, exactly six weeks from my last. I woke up with a grateful heart. I knew that no matter what the scan said, I felt the best I have ever felt (and that right there is saying something). In the hour that the radioactive contrast went through my veins I sat in a room by myself and just prayed from the deepest part of my heart. I could feel God with me and I knew that with His hand, everything was going to be okay regardless of the results. However, I had NO idea how amazing they would turn out to be: there is NO trace of cancer, NO trace of metabolic activity, NO abnormalities all of it is COMPLETELY GONE!

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I DID IT!! I BEAT CANCER!! I AM A SURVIVOR!! I AM A WARRIOR!!

And do you want to know what is even better yet?! My ovaries that were supposed to be cut

out three months ago, they are FULLY FUNCTIONING AGAIN!! I will get to be a mommy

some day.

It is so hard for me to find the words to type to begin to express my tremendous gratitude and love. I have so much I want to share with you about my journey at An Oasis of Healing. I just want to shout on the mountain tops how great our God is and how we can use the tools He gave us to restore our bodies. I knew in my heart from the beginning that conventional medicine wasn't the way I needed to heal my body from disease and cancer, I knew there was a different answer. Something in my gut kept telling me to dig deeper, find more, and keep looking. I am so utterly and ever so grateful that God lead me to An Oasis of Healing and also for all of the support I have received in my choice (even if you don't all necessarily agree). I have whole-heartedly believed in healing this way, but I never knew it would be this earth shatteringly beautiful to experience first hand.

I will be sharing more with you tomorrow, but I had to get the news out tonight. I am just too excited to contain it any longer. I have NEVER been happier, healthier, or more whole.

With so much love,

Jessica Lynn

These two amazing human beings are who I am extremely blessed to call my doctors who have taught me more about health and life than anyone else I have encountered. From Day 1 they have encouraged me, believed in me, and taken the fear away from my diagnosis. They have given off a level of confidence in my ability to beat this and rise above it, being a stronger and better version of myself with the knowledge to ward off any future illness. Now I know why. Thank you from the bottom of my heart, for not only saving my life, but for creating in me a new life that is going to flourish for years to come. I cannot wait to share the grace and help others in the ways that you have helped restore and save my life.

Oceans.

When I was younger I use to think that praying meant kneeling at the bedside, hands folded, eyes shut, reciting prayers that I had memorized, containing words I didn't really understand. Eventually.. I became a teenager and quit praying.

(Unless of course there was the rare and extreme importance for things like "Dear God, please help me get an A on this exam, and I'll go to church this weekend AND next weekend. Ok deal. You're the best. Amen")

Over the past few years, my spiritual journey has taught me that prayer is not about fulfilling my own wishes, but for asking God to align me with His will. I'm still not the kind that gets much out of kneeling at the bedside, because instead of praying I'm just thinking about what I need to do the next day, what I'm hungry for, or what was on twitter. If I do that, I end up saying some rehearsed prayer that "sounds" good but doesn't come from the heart. So learning how to pray was something I had to work at. I didn't realize that there were so many different ways to build a relationship with God.

A very wise woman told me shortly after my diagnosis, "When you can't find the words to pray… sing!" I don't even like to hear myself sing in the shower unless music is blaring, so I didn't quite just start belting out some gospel. But I've found a lot of really good Christian music that has moved mountains for me, espeically at treatment and on days like today. I listen to it in the morning when I get ready for the day, in between things, in headphones at treatment, and before bed some nights when I am so overwhelmed I can't even form a thought.

Tonight is one of those nights, as it is the night before my PET scan. All day I have been trying to prepare for the acceptance of whatever the next step may be. I have been thinking about the past six and a half weeks in Arizona and how much I have grown as a person. I am filled with gratitude and continually feel entirely blessed.

God is working through me and miraculous events have are taking place. Cancer has brought my relationship with Christ to greater depths than I'd ever imagined possible in my own life, and cancer has lead me to a personal chosen journey down a holistic path of integrative medicine that has me feeling the healthiest I have EVER felt. Those two statements being made, there is also no denying that God placed this illness in my life for good purpose. These two thoughts leave me speechless. How do I even begin to thank? How do I even begin to praise? How do I even begin to re-pay?

So I turned to the only way I know how to praise, pray, and thank without words…

… Music

https://youtu.be/RvIEJ_PmqJ8

https://youtu.be/GzfPHnoT0-0

https://youtu.be/NM-Bf9gE0gw

https://youtu.be/N2PNTq_-mZs

I hope some of you might find comfort in these as well.

Xoxo,

Jessica Lynn